me and you

Now some of you may already know this but my father was really strict. I’m talking three and a half acres with a push mower. No saturday morning cartoons, just me and the weeds. Pulling out poison ivy with no gloves. My mom was a push over so I always went to her with the old report card. Then it was off to my room to wait for the horrible sound of my dads truck comming up the driveway. And I got the belt. Dont kid yourself. I got the belt a couple of times. My goddamm hiney would get so red, my own father couldn’t believe it. One time this girl… Jennnine Travia told me that since she was a girl, I couldn’t hit her. Even after she smacked me. So I punched her in the stomach. It was a bad idea, because her parents were friends with my parents. And Oh did I get the belt that night. But anyway, my dad is German, and I dont want to make anyone mad….Frank…but Germans are nuts. So I was beaten constantly by a crazy German and forced to spend endless saturdays eating poison ivy cause of bad grades and girls like Jennine Travia.

Now the only reason I bring this up is because of Christmas. I got shit canned this summer so I missed racking in the goods on my Birthday. And I figure you could all use a couple of months to ponder some gifts for me. I think maybe a little childhood guilt might open up those pockets a little.

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