City of my dreams

Dear City of Oakland.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for the parking ticket. You would not believe how happy I was to find out that my ticket was only thirty two dollars. I think that Thirty two dollars is a very fair amount to pay, for such a heinous parking violation. God only knows the incredible dedication from city workers that Telegraph street gets at two in the morning, and to think that I parked my car plop in the middle of all of the hard work. My crime was uncaring. And your gift was a pardon of thirty two dollars. I feel proud that the City of Oakland is not a money grubbing, sleazy, low life bunch of villains who prey on peoples wallets, but a fair and just City whose only concern is clean streets. I think it is unfair that people hate meter maids. I think that these people work so hard. It’s not fair that they are among the most hated people on the planet. That job is so mundane and unrewarding that most people would kill themselves having such a horrible and meaningless career.
Sitting here at a job that I love and have always wanted, making good money, and being appreciated by people that I have never met, makes me almost understand how terrible it would be have such a awful job and to be hated so much, by everyone. I know that children all over, want to work the kind of job that I do, and only adults with nowhere else to turn would choose such a hated profession. Infact, I have never met one single person who has even the slightest respect for meter maids. God, what an awful life. But these people brave the streets keeping it clean for you and me. I know that one day The City of Oakland is gonna take my thirty two dollars and use it for the city. One day I will drive down San Pablo and I wont be able to make the boat noise as I drive over the river of pot holes. Why I see police talking to prostitutes nearly every day. And Talking to them is almost kind of, nearly, half the battle. In fact I’m not just going to pay my thirty two dollars, I’m going to pay thirty three dollars. And I would like it if you gave that extra dollar the meter maid who gave out my ticket. And thank them for setting me on a straight path, and tell them that even though their life is completely meaningless and sad, that we all benefit from their hard work.

One day, a good store like IKEA will come and Oakland will rise up out of it’s nothing burger existence and almost be worth visiting again. Mark my words.

thanks again

Randy Link

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