Rumsfeld knows exactly what my penis looks like

And that is because it’s in his mouth right now.

Thank you Jason, that was a nice thing to say. And it reminds me of a true story, with yours truly in it.

A long time ago, I worked in this deli in Boston. I was twenty one, ish and I grew my hair long. In hindsight I looked like a real blower. Anyway, I worked with a guy named Emit, and he was an amazing artist and a cool guy and he was pretty gay. Pretty fucking gay.

Emit tried to get into my pants almost everyday. He would grab me from behind, and all sorts of stuff. I told him once that I would fuck him just to get him to leave me alone, but alas, I am just attracted to women, with all of their stupid baggage and bullshit. And crazy “off the charts” egos.

Emit asked me, what it would take to get me in bed, and I told him I would think about it. The next day I told him that if he found six women who were willing to fuck me all at once, I think I might just need to suck a dick in all of that. Maybe a little something in the ass.

God bless him, he tried, and even got a couple of women who were willing, but not enough by my book. But I will respect him forever for trying.

The thing that I am the most amazed at, is how willing people are to be depressed, or hurtful. There is murder all over the news every morning. People kill each other like as if they are drinking water. And nobody bats an eye. Almost every thing on tv is based on hate and fear and lies and hurt. Death, death, death.

But you really cross the line when you talk about pleasing yourself. Think about that.

Pleasing yourself.

That should be every persons goal, every day of their lives.

What are we so afraid of? Why is sexual pleasure so scary? It drives us to do all sorts of stupid stuff, like pray. Just because an orgasm feels good. Last night I parked in front of my neighbors house and this morning there was egg on my car. What goes in in that guys mind? what the fuck is he so angry about? He needs to jerk off a little if you ask me.

Free love didn’t work, but we learned about condoms. I think it is time that people start fucking each other again, and get intimate. I see all of these couples, who obviously lost their intimacy, and they are fat fucks, getting out of trucks filling the empty void with Mc Donald’s.

I think it might just be about time that we learn that it is ok, to feel good and be happy.

and by the way,

it feels good to be an American again, even if it’s just for a day.

I love you people

your pal randy

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