Stocks and Bonds

If you think about it, people didn’t know squat about safety in the seventies. I mean, I look around now and I see people who ride bikes and they have got hecka hella gear. Helmets that make your head look funny. Weird Flash dance outfits all tight on your butt and stuff. Shoes that lock into the peddles? When I was a kid, my bicycle weighed about two hundred pounds. It was yellow and shaped like a chopper. I had some stupid bar that went way up over my head attached to my banana seat, and hand grips with rainbow tassels. Now I know what you are thinking. Your thinking “wow randy what a sissy bike” and yes I drank chocolate milk with it too. But here is the thing….I rode that bike into trees and rock walls. I jumped over ditches and thorn bushes. I threw rocks at it. I would ride it until the chain broke and then jump off as it smashed into a pile of wood with nails sticking out of them. If the frame bent I would jump on it until it was straight enough to ride again, or I would drag it home. I would leave it in the snow and then I would blow off an M80 in it. That bike kicked ass. Here is the other thing. The whole time I wore a t-shirt with shorts and no helmet. Most of the time I wouldn’t wear shoes or socks. Sure I got stitches here and there. Sure I broke a couple of fingers, and landed on my ruff and tumbles the wrong way after a real Evil Kenieval jump. I don’t think we even knew what a helmet was. My point is that we made it. Well, most of us made it it. Anthony Fercano didn’t make it, but we told him that you couldn’t jump a train and throw two sticks of dynamite. But the rest of us made it without all of that dumb junk they try and sell you today.

So people quit wearing Helmets and start crashing on your bikes again. Lets kill this ugly safety habit once and for all. Eric dove face first at a rock the first time I met him, and I like to see some of that gusto back here at the studio. Matt Jacobs has been wearing cool shit on his knees for months, and right now he has the manliest limp in this place. Ask anyone. Try crashing on the way to daily’s. Imagine the leeway you would get over your shot if your nose was hanging off by a thread. Ok? Now lets get back out there people.

your pal Randell J Krandell

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