A Thankgiving story

This is a story that my grandfather would tell at Thankgiving

The year was 1443 and three ships set sail from England. The Charlston, the Rosenburg and the Santa Rosetta. Their mighty sails flew proudly at sea. After months and months, the entire crew hated their captain Christopher P Columbus. He was a complete ass. Christopher wore real baggy jackets and really tight spandex pants, fitting his bottom snugly. After months of hunger and scurvy, the crew started to beat Christopher Columbus badly. His tights had finally drove the crew mad. Just as they were about to thrash him to the missen mast, they ran ashore in a strange land. Everyone stopped fighting at once. Hunger floated in the air. As they came ashore, strange people appeared out of the wood. Beautiful tan bodies all cut with muscles and sweat, dressed in nothing but scraps of dear skin and feathers. Beautiful women wearing nothing but mud. These people were but a strange folk indeed. Nakkid kids running amuck. They led the hungry pale people from the sand, and showered then with food. They taught them stupid things like bury fish with corn, and to dance for rain. But the pale people were grateful. And we broke bread with the savage, and all was right. After we were good and fed we killed all of those funny nakkid people and taught the turkey to run for it’s god damn life, and then we built some stores and there was much merriment.

lets eat some bird

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