Transformers

Let me start out by saying that I saw Transformers last night. Then let me end by saying that is a lie, I fell asleep and then left the theater last night. I want to go on the record, and say that the effects are ILM ish great effects. I thought the effects were really, really, good. I did sense a bit of Jar Jar over animation on some of the more rascally robots, but in general, the effects were quite good.

The story and acting, sucked a good dick though. But it didn’t just suck a good dick, it worked it. I’m not gay, but I do know that if you want a great blowjob, you need to go to a man. Because gay men are the only people who really actually want to give great head. Porn Stars get paid to do it, so it doesn’t count. This story sucked dick in the gay men way, it really worked hard at sucking dick.

The only way I can even begin to describe the story and acting is to say that if you walked onto a Aerosmith video shoot, and told the director of the video and the actors that on that very day, they would have to fill a three hour movie, and then left. that is the level of story that they would come back at you with.

the only overused character that they left out, would be the incredible femme friend who makes caddy comments about maybe their outfits. I think he would have gone well with the over energetic black friend who wont stop screaming things until he gets a laugh, Which unfortunately never happened. “Ima eat all these donuts girl” “What aint nobody laughing?” I’m a say Whoo hoo at the top of my lungs” “Whooo Hooo”

“That donut is going straight to my waist ”

Going to your wait” I’m say whooo hooo”

they could have had conversations like that. I know actors need work, but I’ll tell you, if a director came up to me and asked me to stick a hose in my rectum and wear Mickey mouse ears, I have to think about it.

Now don’t get me wrong, of your six years old and haven’t seen the same formula that they used in the American Godzilla movie over and over again, I’m sure you could look past all of this, and just watch the robots.

But for me, I’d rather be stuck in traffic

your pal Randy

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