NEWSFLASH “the Wild” sucks dick

I saw Disney’s “The Wild” the other day. Actually, I didn’t see it, I saw a billboard, and let me tell you, that movie sucks dick. People always ask me why do Disney movies suck so much dick? And I only have one answer. Because Disney sucks cock. Disney sucks more cock then all of the gay porn in San Francisco.

If I was a writer for Disney, I would go home tonight, run myself a hot bubble bath and then blow my fucking head off with a shotgun, and as the blood spurted from my neck stump, I’d write that I was sorry on the bathroom tiles, making it the best thing that I have ever written.

And if you think that I’m being harsh, you may be right. But I believe that cartoons don’t need to suck. Just like the third Matrix didn’t need to suck, but it sure did. You know one night I had this chick over my house, and I picked her up from a bar. and all the way home she was telling me that she wanted to please me, and do all these crazy things to me, and when we got home she pulled her shirt off and started playing with her perfect breasts, and she asked me if I had any porno because she wanted to watch it, while she fucked the shit out of me, and when I pulled out my copy of “Ass Lickers” she saw that I had Matrix Revolutions, and then she got up, shit on my floor and then walked out.

I don’t need that

Your pal Randy

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