I am tougher then all of you

That’s a lie

I am, and always was, a big Sissy. We used to call it faggot, but that’s not appropriate anymore I guess.

The last fight I was in, was in the fourth grade, and it was with a guy named Skip Sniffen. I’m not lying about that. Anyway, I’ve always been afraid of being punched or hit, and as mad as I ever get, the most I ever want to do is maybe berate someone. When I was about twelve I shot a bird with a bb gun and upon hearing it flounder around in the woods I began to cry and haven’t hurt anything since.

This brings me to America. What the fuck is up with us? I swear to god, everyone in this country thinks they are tough, or hard. Now, I know not everyone, but I’ll put it in the same scale as people who are overweight in this country, “almost everyone”. We have turned into a bunch of fat assholes who think they are hard.

I don’t get it. What is the appeal? Really, what is it that makes us act like this? I was walking home this morning and I passed a couple of dudes older then me, that’s older then forty mind you, and they looked like they were just out of jail. So I figured that I’d give them the old “hello” as I passed by, and they looked like they had no idea what to do.

Now, to all of you women out there, I know that most of you don’t have the “tough gene”. But you do have the “drama gene”. You don’t start the fight, but you get to cry and act like a ripe tosser when the cops come and you sit on the curb and scream as your dumb boyfriend gets arrested.

I wish America would knock it the fuck off. It’s stupid. We hate everyone who isn’t American, and we actually hate everyone who is as well. There is northing to gain from being tough. I’m talking mathematically. Maybe you can act all tough and then go home and have sex with a women who likes to cry a lot, but I’m thinking that is a bit stupid too.

It’s ok when you’re fifteen if you think you’re tough, but you’re going through puberty. I can look the other way. But when you are a middle aged man, and you’re acting like you’re still going through puberty, I feel like that is a little sad.

And just to put it in perspective, if you think you’re tough, I’ll tell you who is. Jeffery Dahmer. That boy had a guys head in a lunchbox. And I think he ate the rest if it. He was actually hard.The rest of us are like people who are still wearing our halloween outfits acting like we just got our first erection.

I think it’s time for us to embrace this whole sissy thing, and maybe try and make it pleasant to walk down the street again.

Your pal Randy

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