Shitty gear

Now I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I got a problem. I went clothes shopping this weekend, and let me tell you folks, it sucks ass. Here is the deal. Nobody and I mean nobody makes clothes for dumpy white guys anymore. Remember the ” I’m going to play tennis” dockers look, remember that. Well I think that was the last time anyone tried to make us dumpy white folks look good. Now I know that hunting supplie stores always are trying to make us look good but that’s different dammit! Nowday’s every pair of jeans is built for the “I’m on Mtv spring break look. Baggy, baggy baggy. Now I don’t know if you people have noticed, but I’ve been doing Tie Bo like a bandit, and I feel like I’m ready for some tight jeans. Not Saterdaynight fever tight, more like jan claude van damn tight. And I looked and I looked. I must have tried on twenty pairs of dumb jeans, some even smaller than my little cousin jeffry who is about three and a half. Guess what. I looked like a rap star in all of them. I’m a little pissed off about the whole thing so don’t bother me for a couple of days.

your pal Ranny’s

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