Randy Krandy took my money!

Ok, here we go.

Now about a month or so ago, a couple of the nice folks here bought me a gift certificate to see Elmo in grouch land, in hopes that I would write a review. And I just got an e-mail stating that Randy Krandy took my money! And although I cashed it in and then I bought a couple of hamburgers with it, I really resent the fact that people here are calling me a thief! Now as you all know I’m not the kind of guy to name names. Like Soren and Steve Ginsberg. But If I was I would I would say “Soren and Steve Ginsberg”. Not only do these two rat bastards buy me a ticket to see Elmo and Grouch land, they call me a thief, cause I turned there ticket into pure burger gold. So here is my excuse. First off, I’ve been so sedated on pot, booze, speed, and coke, that I haven’t found my own bathroom in the last week and a half. Do you guys have any idea how bad my underpants smell? And The other thing is I’ve been wandering the streets looking for love. Now I know you guys think I’m all ruff and tumble, and how can a man with abs of steel under a layer of fat find love? Well you just walk right out there and say” will you love me?” And about every five thousand girls say,”Yes, it will cost twenty bucks.” So you see, If i could make just one friend, I would have someone to go see muppet movies with, but the only idiot who is dumb enough to even go to lunch with me, Is Gibby, so you can all se how sick this life of mine really is. So now I promise ,not just to the two jackasses who think sending me to a muppet movie is funny, but to the whole dern studio, that this week I will go see the friggin googley eye cookie monster film, and write a review!

your pal R.J.Krandell

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