You know, you guys are ok. Pretty fine people in general if I may say so, and so I’ll tell you a little story. It’s about work, fun, commitment, and my grandmother Lena Link. I’m the first to admit that part of my family has had a checkered past. My grandfather on the German side would often have intercourse with pencils and my father was born without an anus. But we love each other regardless. My grandmother Lena was a huge brute of a woman. In her day she could take down a bull with her teeth and she was reported to give birth to bricks, I’m telling you people she was tuff. One time when I was at the tender age of twenty two and still had trouble tying my shoes, she beat me with my own brother. I mean it, she was tuff. Well, needless to say we were all very scared around Lena. If you said that you didn’t like supper she would climb onto the kitchen table and fart into your face until you finished every last bit. Tuff. One day I asked Lena “what was the most important thing in life.” And she made me lick her armpits. And I learned something that day. I learned something very important. My family is a bunch of assholes. But I learned something else. I learned about longevity. There is only one way to make it to the end of dinner while a large bottom blows awful air in your face. You need to focus. Which brings me to work. Today I had an extra special bad daily. It looked like Kevin Bacon was a little retarded boy, who slipped in cow flop. And if you ever read the quote I put at the bottom of my e-mail. ” Your only as good as your last daily” That makes me a hunk of shit today. It’s ok, today is my day for it. I guess what I’m trying to get at, is these darn things are going to happen. Boy do they suck, but there going to happen whether you like it or not. You cant help it. One thing I’ve noticed is that when the heat gets turned up, people get bunchy. I was pretty pissed at myself after daily’s, but I got over it. Sometimes I read an email or hear someone say something and it’s kind of bunchy. So here are some good rule to live by.
BR> It’s always your own damn fault.
Take it easy, enjoy work ( longevity people )
It’s not the computer. ( Craig is way to smart for that one, I know, I’ve tried!)
Quit complaining, sound like a bunch of sissy’s.
Take the heat when it is your turn.
And last but not least….
You’re only as good as your last daily.
Remember, we are not close because we like each other, we are close
because we are all a bunch of geeks who liked Sinbad.
Take it easy out there.
R.J.Krandell
Stocks and Bonds
Thursday, March 23rd, 2000If you think about it, people didn’t know squat about safety in the seventies. I mean, I look around now and I see people who ride bikes and they have got hecka hella gear. Helmets that make your head look funny. Weird Flash dance outfits all tight on your butt and stuff. Shoes that lock into the peddles? When I was a kid, my bicycle weighed about two hundred pounds. It was yellow and shaped like a chopper. I had some stupid bar that went way up over my head attached to my banana seat, and hand grips with rainbow tassels. Now I know what you are thinking. Your thinking “wow randy what a sissy bike” and yes I drank chocolate milk with it too. But here is the thing….I rode that bike into trees and rock walls. I jumped over ditches and thorn bushes. I threw rocks at it. I would ride it until the chain broke and then jump off as it smashed into a pile of wood with nails sticking out of them. If the frame bent I would jump on it until it was straight enough to ride again, or I would drag it home. I would leave it in the snow and then I would blow off an M80 in it. That bike kicked ass. Here is the other thing. The whole time I wore a t-shirt with shorts and no helmet. Most of the time I wouldn’t wear shoes or socks. Sure I got stitches here and there. Sure I broke a couple of fingers, and landed on my ruff and tumbles the wrong way after a real Evil Kenieval jump. I don’t think we even knew what a helmet was. My point is that we made it. Well, most of us made it it. Anthony Fercano didn’t make it, but we told him that you couldn’t jump a train and throw two sticks of dynamite. But the rest of us made it without all of that dumb junk they try and sell you today.
So people quit wearing Helmets and start crashing on your bikes again. Lets kill this ugly safety habit once and for all. Eric dove face first at a rock the first time I met him, and I like to see some of that gusto back here at the studio. Matt Jacobs has been wearing cool shit on his knees for months, and right now he has the manliest limp in this place. Ask anyone. Try crashing on the way to daily’s. Imagine the leeway you would get over your shot if your nose was hanging off by a thread. Ok? Now lets get back out there people.
your pal Randell J Krandell
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