Archive for the ‘Politics & Commentary’ Category

teh REAL cuase of global warming

Friday, April 27th, 2007

Joe wrote:

You guys are so gullible you probable believe in global worming.
Duped again!

See what I’m talking about? If I was to go into a bar full of horney women and talk like this, I couldn’t get laid to save my life. I think these mails are like a form of abstinence in a way.

Joseph, I’m obviously not as smart as you, but just think for a minute about the pile of waste that you have made in your life. And I’m not talking about your career or the things that you say, I’m talking about the garbage that you as a person have eaten, bought, and thrown out. Then, just for a minute multiply that by the amount of people on the planet.

did you do it?

Now, is it a stretch to think that could have possibly caused some trouble for the environment? Or is it some evil leftist scientist plan to uh.. save the environment.

I would like to know what these people stand to gain by cleaning up the place?

Even if global warming is all fake. Why wouldn’t anyone want to support cleaning some shit up?

I don’t get it.

Now I know you’re bored at work making episode six or whatever the fuck you’re doing and you want to get a reaction out of people, but really.

trust me vaginas are great. You should think about getting one.

Or if you go that way, get yourself pounded. I’m ok with either

your pal Randy

randy needs lube

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

It’s always been true. Once when I was in high school, I couldn’t get
any, and I fucked a bunch of sticks.

I really could of used some lube back then.

That reminds me. I’ve been thinking of ways to help prevent some of the gun
violence in the USA, and I think I’ve got it.

What if all guns were legal, fucking automatic shit, you named it. But what
if they were shaped like  a penis? And were flesh color.

I think a lot of men would turn to stabbing.

Think about that

Your pal randy

Global warming update

Monday, April 23rd, 2007

I don’t think anyone is mocking religion, or worshiping false Idols. I think we’re seeing warning signs and trying to stay alive and have a hospitable world for our descendents.

That’s not true. I am.

I wish that everyone who was religious would burn, or get electrocuted, or explode in front of me.
I wish anyone dumb or lonely enough to believe in any of that shit, would get eaten by a bear or a lion.

I also wish that people who were “Right winged” would get into a huge gun battle, and kill each other.

Mr. stevenson’s problem is that he is either dumber then I was in kindergarten, or he just doesn’t know how to get laid. Because, anyone, and I mean even my dead grandmother, knows that you can’t get laid when you write emails like he does.

Sorry, that is a scientific fact.

Maybe, he is afraid of his penis, and he is ashamed, like most of the “right”, and he wants to prevent  people from wanting to suck his penis, maybe that’s why he writes it. I don’t know.

but if I wanted to dry up a vagina, I would write some of the things that he writes about global warming.

because by god, is it stupid.

your pal Randy

Global worming update

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

You know what makes me upset. Nobody fights for the right to party anymore? What happened to that? Did you all just give up? Or are you partying right now? Holy fuck. Is that awesome.

Here is the deal. Lets get this out on the table. We’re fucked.

The Dinosaurs about seventy million years ago, looked at each other and said, ” Oh fuck!” and that was it. They are gone.

My question is, what does it matter? Scientist on the payroll, and Global warming is fake or not. Or the fact that not only does Fox news suck, but they all do?

What does any of this matter.  These emails that you guys send are a bunch of facts, sure, but what is it that you are looking for? What is the end result of this conversation? Who knows more facts?

I say it over and over again, What has anyone writing or reading this thread, done to help anybody today? If I had to guess, Id say, like me, you did nothing. Bravo.

Now, before you go feeling bad about yourself, I want you to think about this. People don’t deserve it anyway. The general population of people on this planet don’t deserve shit. Bunch of assholes if you ask me.

I wish that everybody on my commute this morning got global warming in their fucking faces. And everybody on the news, and everybody telling the news. And everybody fighting in a war right now, and those old assholes who came up with the war.

I wish that every racist asshole and every homophobic faggot and everyone who believes in religion, would get a huge dose of global warming right up their fucking ass.

I also hope that if it does all go down in a ball of flames,and the world is over,that you bitches might give up a little sex on our last day on this planet, because I’m fucking sick of paying for it.

Your pal Randy

Bay bay Liberty

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

It’s hard to be right on this topic.

here is another point of view. I would bet that almost everyone who has a opinion about smoking eats meat. Probably everyday of their lives, and on some days you might eat, chicken, Cow and pig, and what the fuck, throw a little fish in there too.

The fact is that it is disgusting. And to someone who doesn’t eat it, It is disgusting and gross, and packs a lot of cruelty and Murder with it. But, for now it is considered normal, much like smoking was considered normal fifty years ago.

We all know smoking is bad for you, and smells disgusting, unless you are addicted, then it taste fucking great.

What is so different then smelling smoke, or to watch a fat fuck squeeze a hamburger down their fat fuck throat? These people should maybe have a salad, or a fruit cup, but if you even suggest that they don’t eat pork, they will say something like. ” but I like the taste of bacon.”

Not only is bacon very bad for you, but comes at a very big cost. To everybody, not just the poor animal.

Most of us, don’t care to know about that cost, because we like the taste. We know that, horrible things are happening, behind close doors and we don’t want to even know about it, because we like it. Even though most of us could use a salad. I’ve been through the crew pictures, we aren’t the cast of Baywatch, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

I find it a little sad, that we as a group of people will consume at such a fevered pitch, and waste, and contribute money to such a horrible practice, and then have the nerve to complain about smelling smoke.

Let people smoke, if they want. None of us are going to live forever. relax, and look the other way, and be cool about it.

Or don’t eat that fucking hamburger around me, because, you and your greasy chin and fat gut are making me sick.

your pal Randy.

Why Vote Republican

Friday, November 3rd, 2006

God that chick was awful. I’ll tell you folks, If a woman has a huge sore on her ass, stay away from her.

Anyway, what Neil misses, and I hope he agrees with me on this one is…

fuck America.

What Neil doen’t get, with his rolled up jeans and Stray Cats buy America stuff, is that America is based on a thing called capitalism. And that word, is responsible for a lot of wealthy people, and a lot more hungry, poor, sad and dead, people.

And America, couldn’t give a shit about them.

For instance. The Ford Motor company, and american company, de railed the trolley car here in Los Angeles, causing endless amounts of pollution and car wrecks and litter and traffic, All for profit. They have a lot of money, and they have done very bad things with it.

The Ford Motor company can fold tomorrow for all I care and I hope the people who own it, jump out of a fucking window.

The NRA. I think they are American. Why, they are quite rich, and they are responsible for more deaths then all of the terrorists all over the world combined times two. Kids, getting slaughtered in school. They aren’t even on the radar, as being bad for America.

I just finished a little kids book, and got a thousand printed. ( I know, Thanks I love it too!) And you want to know where I got it printed? In the good old USA, actually that’s a lie, I got it printed in Viet Nam. In the good old USA, they wanted to charge more then eight dollars a book, that means I could afford to have three of them printed.

I got it printed at a very reasonable price. I won’t tell, because it would make you sick.

That is called capitalism, and it runs everything. Fuck American, buy over seas

Also don’t believe Neil. We can change things, but we need to start in a different place. I quit eating meat more then four years ago, it’s hard, and it’s stupid. But I feel good knowing that I haven’t given any money to the slaughter of animals, I am taking away from that horrible, horrible business.

It’s stupid, and I would loose every argument that you guys could throw at me, but I don’t care, because I’m making even the smallest of change all by myself.

beat that.

you pal randy


I did like that song Stray Cats strut, so rock on Neil!

I’ll tell you why I’ll vote Republican

Thursday, November 2nd, 2006

First off, because I’m scared of being attacked by brown people. And it gives me a false sense of wealth. Also I hate niggers, Chinks, and Spics, and all non whites. Oh, and Injuns.

Most of all I hate faggots, the faggots that I’m not fucking I mean.

I could give a shit about the environment, and I’d like to keep women down if I can. Which I can.

But most of all, when I drive around in my gas guzzling SUV, I like to hide behind a fake pride, about being just mediocre enough to have an opinion that learned on tv. It makes me feel better knowing that if I don’t think about it at all, My middle class life has some purpose.

And fuck all of those dummy’s who are fighting for me in Iraq, because it’s time to fill up my truck.

America rules!

your pal randy

Jesus saves nothing

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

You know, I love all of the religious stuff going on in the world right now. I love to watch and learn about other people and religions, mainly because they’re a bunch of assholes. Islam is all pissed at the Pope because of stuff he said. They want his head on a stick. I think they should get his head on a stick, not because of what he said, but because he is an asshole.

How come the little monkey man is so afraid of dying, that we have to make up a bunch of shit, so we feel better after we are dead? What is up with that? And how come, all of these people in high ranking positions are dummer then me? and they at least act like they believe in all of that stupid stuff?

I mean you watch the news and you can see grow people saying stuff like, is this the end of the world? Not because of bombs or cars or over population, but because God is mad. Well, that is pretty stupid.

If you are religious, do me a favor and go home tonight, take a hot bath and then say in the mirror. “Boy am I dumb” Because you are, and I’ll prove it.

God made the universe right? and everything in it. And I’d say, he did a pretty good job. But I have just one question. What was his grand plan with Jupiter? why did he make that? Did he make it in the off chance that the monkey man would some day build a telescope and find out that there is a pretty rock out there? Or did he just want to make a rock? It is nice though. Nobody asks that question. Hey God, thanks for mars, I think it’s red?

here is another one, and it is a bit of a sore subject for people. If you believe in a god, and you eat meat. Go home tonight take a nice hot bath and then tell yourself that god fucking hates you. That’s right. Because every day, thousands and thousands of innocent animals are slaughtered so we can actually get fat. I’m sure God is very proud of the hamburger that you had at lunch. And I’m also sure that God in his infinite wisdom thinks that you are more important then the animal that lived in the worse conditions that you could possibly imagine, and then die a horrible death for just you. You go God.

I love to watch the monkey man make sense of it. “Randy, the holocaust was so terrible. How could they?” then “I’ll have kosher please” not even knowing how horrible it was for the animal that they are about to eat. “Isn’t it just terrible, and how could the German people just let that happen? Horrible!

Well what about the slaughterhouses? “Oh, I don’t want to know, because I like the taste of bacon, and if I knew what they did, I wouldn’t eat it.” Someone actually said that to me.

I’ll feel sorry for your stupid grandparents if you quit eating meat. Other wise shut the fuck up.

Most people believe that God made animals so that humans could do whatever we want with them and they are here only to serve our purpose.

And that is why both God and I hate you… because you’re stupid.

If you think that I am exaggerating, please go on to youtube and look up a film called “earthlings”

Try and choke that shit down and then talk about God.

your pal Randy

gettin it

Tuesday, September 19th, 2006

BOGOTA, Colombia – They are calling it the “crossed legs” strike.

Fretting over crime and violence, girlfriends and wives of gang members in the Colombian city of Pereira have called a ban on sex to persuade their menfolk to give up the gun.

Ok folks, these crazy bitches are getting it done. and if I may say so I called for this strategy years ago. My plan was to get chicks to stop fucking tuff guys and rap stars, because I hate both.

And lets face it. Everything we do as men, is to get laid. We don’t care about anything else. If you want people to vote, you should get a free blowjob in the booth. I’d vote all day.

Women, if you have a man, you should know that he wants to fuck all sorts of shit. We’re crazy with it. Now, some of you assholes who have girlfriends and wives might argue and say, “Well not me honey.” and not only are you a liar, you’re an asshole.

When I was a teenager, I had a really hard time getting women. You want to know what I did? Think I cared?

I was fucking rocks and dirt and shit. I used to come home with dirt all over the front of my pants and tell my parents that I fell down. That is how much we like it. Put a bunch of sticks together and fuck it.

and you women who could run the world, with the control you have over men. Spend your time getting angry at what another women looks like, or how could he be with her? You throw it all away because you’re as stupid as men.

makes me angry.

love you people

your pal Randy

A list that should make you mad

Thursday, August 24th, 2006

I’ve never voted. Not once in my life. And I’m pushing forty. Am I part of the problem? You fucking bet I am. It would be great if I would go out there and cast a vote, but I wont. And that is because I couldn’t give a shit. I am lazy, and stoned just about every waking hour of the day.

The thing is, that most everyone I know is just like me. Those of you who feel you are different, I want to remind you, that casting your political views on a chat line, surrounded by artists and cg geeks, is about as political as smoking a joint and listening to rock music.

Sure Bush is an asshole, and a liar, and maybe even a cocksucker. But who is he fucking over? People. And who gives a shit about other people? the answer is…nobody does. Not one of us has done anything to help anyone. We make movies about spaceships and asshole robots. Then we eat dinner and masturbate.

That is about it.

Bush is doing what he is doing, because we let him, and in a way, we love it. He is like a dog at the food bowl eating as much as he can. And what does it really matter? really? in the end. A whole bunch of innocent people die, and a bunch of dumb American kids die too. So what. What are any of us going to do about it? send some emails?

And before you feel too bad about the fact that you are as lazy as me, think about this.

Spaceships are kind of cool, and masturbating to pictures of people who wouldn’t ever talk to you, is awesome. If you are going to be pretend, I say, pretend that the women in the Victoria Secret catalogue actually want you. This way you are only really lying to yourself.

Your pal Randy