Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

apple pie

Friday, October 10th, 1997

Now I am an American. And that means somthing. It means that I’ve got the God givin right to say what I feel and believe in the Ma ha raja if I want. And I can listen to rock music if I want. Or get scared out of my pants if I feel like it. But some of us here at the studio are not that lucky. For instance, Tom Sheles is not an American. He comes from Canada, which I think is communist, because he has never seen the movie HALLOWEEN. starring our own Jamme Lee Curtis. And I dont know about you but that makes me sick. I mean how the heck are you supposed to grow up normal if you’ve never seen innocent women stabbed to death because they just did the funny with a boy they just met. Its starting to make a little sense now, just look at the poor slob. as a matter of fact the next time you see Tom you should give him a hug or somthing. No wonder he is so broken. Anyway, When I heard that the little bike rider has never seen that movie I broke into the vault and awaited October. Now It is October, so I brought it in. And I’m thinking of a little showing tonight. Friday night at 9pm. NOW I dont want to step on any toes so if someone want to use the screening room or someone does not want me to use the screening room just give a call or write me back. And anyone else is invited to watch as innocent people get killed like they deserve.

liverwurst

Tuesday, September 9th, 1997

Well, this summer I went home to New York. The big apple. Home of the ” Vinny “. As in ” Yo Vinny “. And as you may have guessed it was a darn good time. I took Jennifre, and we saw the folks and did the family thing and everyone was happy. My pop is from Germany so I ate a lot of liverwurst and got a little bit thicker. And a funny thing happened to me on the old East coast. I got greasy. I mean I got really greasy. I got down deep stink wretch greasy. Now I’m a thick guy and when your thick and greasy, it starts to do somthing to you. It makes you want to kill people. It makes you want to take that god forsaken stupid Liverwurst sanwich and wipe it all over someone you loves face, then kick the crap out of them. I mean, my poor mom. She didn’t know what to do when I had grandma in the sumo head lock, with both feet on her spine and Jennifre judo kicking her nose until it looked like the Brain bugs Berjina face flap. Have you ever seen a eighty five year old woman force fed a basket of fries, let me tell you….it’s sick.

anyway, it’s the weather. Thats why people on the East Coast are all assholes. The hot stinky weather makes em crazy. You will all be happy to know that I have decided to live in california for the rest of my life. And I think someday my sweet old grandma may talk to me again. Oh , and it’s good to see all you freaks again.

your pal randy

good pasta

Friday, August 9th, 1996

Howdey all,

I bet your all wondering what my favorite food is. Now I’m a bread guy, that means I like bread. I like it with butter or as a little something to go with pasta. Now I’ve heard it said that pasta is really bread but in a different form. It sure looks different to me. But I dont know for sure. I know one thing though I dont like red sause. Except for my own. It’s quite good you sould try it sometime. Now ham I find is a great meal, I always feel sorry for the pig but golly is it good. My mother is really fond of chicken. Ya know the shake and bake thing, well she likes that a lot. I have had so much shake and bake in my day that I feel just plane silly about it. So dont bring it up when we talk. It’s a sore subject. So anyway, I was thinking, if everyone made their favorite meal and brought it in, and gave me some. I think it would be nice.

no red sause though.
I love you all.

R.J.krandell

doggy,stink

Wednesday, August 7th, 1996

Now I take the bart alot. Some would say I take it quite often. So lets just say I sit in that train over and over again, day in day out. I like it it’s nice. I noticed something today that has kind of been bothering me, and I feel I need to talk about it. Many people come on to the train, and I may say some darn fine looking people! Guys and gals, clean and ready for work. Now I think I,m your average looking guy. Girls dont go dropping like flies for me, but I’ve been known to work a little magic every now and then. You should see me in action. But anyway, Noone ever sits next to me! Never. My seat is always the last free seat on the bart. Now this is in rush hour, every day. I’m starting to feel like the kid in your gym class with one limb who always gets picked last. So if I smell like something deep in your fridge, or look like one of the flying monkeys from The wizard of Oz, I would really like it you people would let me in on it.

thanks.

your pal Randell.J.krandell.

me

Thursday, August 1st, 1996

Howdy all. I want to first say once and for all, how much I love you. Lots. Now then, I am looking to move to a new home next month and it looks like I have to take my girlfriend and the damm dog with me. We are thinking of trying out Berkley. And I have a hunch that a lot of you live in this neck of the woods. So what I’m getting at is:

#1. Does anyone have any leeds for a guy like me?

#2. Is anyone moveing out of a great, huge, cheap place with a lot of good neihboors?

#3.Am I really getting fatter by the day?

#4.Does everyone hate me and I’m about to get fired so why am I looking in Berkely?

Well if anyone thinks of anything or has any good hunting advice let me know. Thanks.

Randell.J.Krandell.