Archive for February 17th, 1999

My Favorite Martian

Wednesday, February 17th, 1999

It all started when that German guy Frank showed up. We ate some meats for a while and started in on a beer, when that Christian fellow and this Todd guy came along. Needles to say we ahd a couple if Ciggies, I think from Amsterdam, and ate more meats. At about one thirty we decided to take a cab to the theater, and you had best believe that I wore my sun glasses for fear of a talk hold from somebody important. “No need to see those little red slits for eyes I said to myself.” Well we got to the show and wouldn’t you know it, crazy. People walking all over talking about what now or what next. I looked over at Christian and he seemed unfazed by the worried crowd, so I started the talking and the Phil scope, you know, little talk show with the big guy. Anyway, before I could get to him, the crowd was dwindling fast, so I followed some people. The next thing I know, I’m trying to shoot a quarter in a glass, and failing. Now I don’t know how much many of you know about lots of early booze consumption, but it aint good. Well, that lasted until about four and then we went to some Carribian place, and let me tell you. THINGS GOT NUTS! The quarters game came back in a horrible way, Eric was playing with children, People who should just not be allowed to dance were dancing. I mean who lets this sort of stuff happen? It’s not right! There were these weird spicy fish sticks in a pan, with some crazy chicken bits. All I heard was….clink, dink…..ploop, ” YOU DRINK FUCKER” SISSY BOY! ” I mean I’m staring into my rum thinking who are these animals. And what am I doing with rum god damn it. Paula was making people consume left and right, Marty was feeling bad, and drinking drinks for people. I’m telling you it was a mad house. I think I went to the bathroom fifteen times, and I never took down my pants, I’m telling you…it was a mess. Neal was doing lap dances for people, for free. People just don’t party like this. Anyway, right then I had this brilliant idea, It came to me crystal, and sharp. I was the little Gelfling and I was on the Dark Crystal. I’ll tell people to come over my house. We will party at my house until the midnight movie.

we all make mistakes. The very notion, of letting these animals in my home was one of my dumber ideas. Garth ate things that weren’t food, Bart started in with my dogs. Neal thought he could play guitar, Robin ran around yelling about blueberries. People who just ate Mexican food were puking. Gurdin was rolling cigars, Ashby peed on somebody. it was crazy. Thank god for ten thirty. Because that’s when we got the hell out of my house and wobbled up to the theater. I remember getting popcorn, though I don’t know why. I remember a Goofy cartoon. I remember thinking I have a chance with that British girl from Austin Powers. And that’s it. My head rolled back, I saw some silver stuff, Couple of white flashes, and the world swam. I think Petey ribbed me a couple of times, and popcorn dribbled out of my mouth like an infant. It was beautiful. By far the best movie experience I’ve ever had.