Archive for June, 1999

Sport talk

Tuesday, June 1st, 1999

This weekend I overheard some sport talk, and I got some questions about it. Now before all you sport fans get into an uproar, and start writing nasty e-mail, think about it for a minute. Is it the same phenomena that when you go to a concert, all those guys air guitar, like they are in the band, or that the band really appreciates their help down there. I noticed that these guys were talking about these athlete’s like they were old friends. ” Boy, Occonel, sure slam dunkied the ball, I was counting on that.” like they talked before the game and gave out advice to the player, and he listened. And what’s with all the cute names? I noticed that sport men usually think they are tuff, or at least as good as the players, and they give them all these cute nicknames. “Occonel meister” or” dunk meister” I hate to say it, but that’s not tuff. Cute nicknames I mean. It’s like when you see a really tuff car with a Vinny tuff guy with chains, and a tuff hairdo, but they are listening to Madonna. I hate to say it, but it aint all that tuff. Anyway, you’re right,I suck at sports. I sucked. Me and a kid named Jonathan Laurie were always the last two kids to get picked in gym class, and Jonathan was missing an arm, an eye and a leg and his belly button. So you don’t need to make the comments about how I suck and I’m jealous. You’re right, I know you’re right. What I’m talking about is the fantasy connection between the people who are making millions per game, and the people who are sitting on their sofa believing they are some integral part of the game while their loved one tries to not be so bored. I mean I can kind of understand playing sports. Running around and all that stuff. But watching people run around, and then talking about it like you actually ran around seems kinda stupid.

please help me understand.

your pal R.J.Krandell

Our readers respond:

> It’s sort of like, “George Lucas pissed in my eyes.”
> But only this time it was Patrick Ewing.
> Just trying to help.

I think it’s more like,”Randy pissed on my email and I have to read it.”

just trying to help.

Actually like all art or literature, we have choice to read it or not. If we feel we are not going to like it we can simply not look at it. It’s not like people who talk too loud, then you have to hear it. But saying that you have to read it is like saying we have no control over ourselves. And that makes me cry. And I would hate to think that I am hurting people who are really busy so I will not write anymore E-mail’s