Archive for April 10th, 2000

Salamander the movie

Monday, April 10th, 2000

Salamander

Doesn’t anyone get embarrassed anymore? I’ve got an idea. lets make a list of all the over done dumb shit that is in Science fiction and horror movies. The stuff we wince in pain when they use it over and over again. And oh will it be huge. Like the big explosion at the end. Or the troubled hero. Or anything, and I mean anything in space. We have seen enough space movies in the last thirty years. Let’s come on back to earth and think of a plot people. Let’s make a big list. and send it to Hollywood. We can plead with them to not use that stuff anymore. Maybe if they see us cry it will help. I swear I will drink my own urine if it will help stop the space movies. Anyway, remember when the funny guy gets his neck bit, then as he is dying he gives the hero his Cigar, and asks him to smoke it for him. and then the hero starts to cry and bangs the wall. Remember that. Boy was that part stupid. Remember when the two grown men with shotguns get killed but the skinny boy stabs through the 14 foot lizard like it’s made of Jell-O. How can you overlook these things. I’m not picky. I’m not a stickler for details. I’ll watch the remake of King Kong. It’s not like I’m hard to please. Stop it. Please stop it. I can’t direct a movie, because I can’t think of anything longer than three seconds. But I know this.

ps But I would stick a hot poker in my ass, rip off all my fingernails , stick them in salt and watch Komodo forty times in a row while two fat men fart in my face repeatedly, before I watch Star Wars the Phantom Menus again.

pps let’s try and keep this one within Tippett folks.