Your Pal Randy

Listen here folks, I’m here to give you guys a little warning about not voting. Now as many of you people well know, I’ve never voted a god damn day in my life. I’ve never cast my opinion on any important issue that plagues human kind. Now it’s not that I don’t think these things are important, it’s that I just don’t care. I don’t care enough to ever get up off my lazy ass and walk on down to the …uhh, wherever the hell people go and vote, and cast my important two cents. I call this my right as a god damn American. Ha ha ha , never cared! Ahh ha, very funny. “But Randy some people in the world have no rights, as an american… and”…. Ahh ha ha Too bad. Lazy. Now this kind of progressive thinking has got me and my lazy backside into some trouble. A couple of years ago I wrote a little ditty about not voting, and since then I started to get some really weird presents from people, who oddly enough remain anonymous. Once I got a severed head that said VOTE on the scalp, once I got a baby doll that was tied up in a funny way and said Spank Me on It’s tender little bottom. Now today I get Some animal doll with it’s head all blue in a bag with it’s arms cut off and some things written on it I wouldn’t even say to my sailor friends over a beer in a dark tavern. Now, I’m not easily offended. Remember that time that Phil drooled on me from Bay one upper, and it got all in my eyes. Or the time when Phil and Jim Bloom threw rocks at me from inside the gate until I cried. Now I can handle that, but messing up a little stuffed doll is too much. You people are sick.

R.J.Krandell