Archive for April, 2005

Re: randy did u post this?

Wednesday, April 6th, 2005

Looks like some asshole is trying to steal my thunder. Fuck him

But I’ll tell you one thing.

I love prostitutes. Really. I saw one on my way to work today, and I wanted to jump out of my car, and give her a rose, and tell her what she means to me. Then maybe get a blow job. But really I admire them, and I’ll tell you why.

I’m ok looking. I’m no Brad Pitt or Mike Brazelberg. I’m just ok. I get all of my action because I can really work a room. Girls don’t ever want to fuck me when they see me, that’s ok. I do just fine, and for those of you who know me, know that I have a girl and she loves me, and when she is really drunk she wants to fuck me, so life is good.

But regular women don’t give me the time of day. And women in a bar, act like I owe them money. I mean they are downright hostile when I talk to them. It’s like I really crossed the line by asking them how they are doing, probably because they are waiting for some really fine guy to talk to them, and I’m in the way.

But Prostitutes, they don’t care about any of that shit. They don’t care that I’m not great looking, or that I’m not famous. They don’t care that I’m not the coolest guy in the bar, or that I don’t dress like I’m in the White Stripes, with my emo pants on. Prostitutes, don’t care, that I think that
rap music is worse then getting your head shot off with a shotgun. Prostitutes don’t care if I have a girlfriend, or if I cheat.

They don’t even care if I can make them orgasm. All they want is my fucking money.

and I have tons of that.

Your pal Randy

I”m going to post this shit on craigslist