Your Pal Randy

If you wanted to know the truth. It’s that my body is quite disgusting. I’m kind of flabby and I have hair on my back and my skin is roughly the color of milk, and when it’s tan, it turns the color of cheese. It’s sick really. Last year I worked out a lot, and I was kind of fit, but I gave
up, because I’m lazy.

And do you want to know why I don’t take my shirt off in public? Self respect. I don’t have a lot of it, not enough to do “sit ups” anyway, but enough to know that nobody want to see my disgusting body by the pool.

This is why I don’t understand why some people will talk on the cell phone in places like books stores and movie theaters and shit like that. Don’t they know that’s disgusting? I was in Barnes and Nobles today, and this guy was talking, slightly less louder then a rock concert, about his car. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to watch him get raped by elephants, and tigers. Has he no idea? Really what is it about cell phones?

There are a lot of things I hate that I can look the other way on, like Rap music, and people who are fashionable, and white kids who act like they are ghetto. and Uh.. actually everyone who acts like they are ghetto. And rap music. But this shit has to stop.

look, I know you’re lonely, and nobody wants to go to lunch with you. But walking around with a phone to your ear, doesn’t make you any less disgusting, or lonely. Do me a favor. If you walked around in public today chatting on the phone, go home, and take a nice hot bath, then kill yourself, because you are an asshole.

or put a shirt on that shit

Your pal Randy

Actually I was at Alfa beta, one time, and I coordinated an extreme attack on a women’s baddonka donk, with a bit of slappidus, but she countered with a no noosky, leaving my penis wanty and hurty with rejection.

I never know what the hell you guys are talking about but i do know this…

Hackers and people who make viruses are a bunch of fags, and I don’t mean people of the same sex who like each other either. It’s not fair that when I want to masturbate, some asshole gets my computer all locked up. If you are going to make a virus and fuck someone up, do it to those asshole who are looking up Disney.com or the new Curious George movie.

lets look at some facts.

It is most likely that the people creating viruses are men. Why? because I don’t think women give enough of a shit about computers to spend there time creating a virus. And if you are a women spending your time creating viruses, then you should get Beheaded on video.

And if you are a man, and you are interfering with another mans masturbation pleasure, then you are an asshole. That is fucking science, I’m sorry.

ps

I don’t care if it’s a PC or a Mac, I’ll cum on it.

your pal Randy

LA rules for a couple of reasons. Warm weather, an amazing city. Beautiful beaches, and tits.

Don’t get me wrong. Because I love beautiful beaches and warm weather. But I really , really love tits. People say, Randy, what kind of tits do you like? Big Ones? Doesn’t matter. I don’t discriminate, and I am no racist. I love them all, even old ones.

What I hate is the people who own the tits. They never let me do anything. I can’t hold em or suckle, and they give me nasty looks when I stare at their beautiful tits. Like that’s a crime. Sometimes I watch the golden sunset, or watch the ocean for hours, but I am a criminal for staring at the ebb and flow of some beautiful breasts.

But I have found a way around that. Hookers.

This is why I am proud to be an American. That and fishsticks.

your pal randy