Archive for June 4th, 2006

Meter Maids

Sunday, June 4th, 2006

Today I stepped in to get a cup of coffee and the guy behind the counter was an ass. I needed to use my card, and it needed to be over a certain amount so he suggested that I buy the woman next to me breakfast.

Now I don’t mind buying people breakfast, but I aint going to help you get laid, but in all the confusion I said ok, and bought some lady breakfast and I’m sure she is enjoying it.

I step outside, and wouldn’t you know it. There is a meter maid giving me a ticked. He had a mustache so you know he was fucking stupid. Here is our conversation, I think it would make a good play.

Randy

“Don’t you just love America?”

Meter Maid

“What?”

Randy

“It’s the only place in the world where you can get a nice cup of coffee, and then get dicked for some money.”

Meter Maid

“How long were you in there?”

Randy

“Two minutes”

Meter maid

” Well, you should have put money in ”

Randy

“Yeah, I didn’t have any, but I don’t mind paying this. I make a lot of money.”

Meter Maid

“Well…”

Randy

“But, you can answer me a question. How does it feel to have taken a job where you fuck people over for money? Does it make you sad? Is that why you have a mustache?”

Meter maid

turns and walks away in a huff, looks back disappointed.

Randy yelling

” Enjoy the life you have chosen, it’s a sad one!”

Meter maid gets in car and leaves

The end

I know, I know, a beautiful story. I’ll pay thirty bucks to tell a meter maid they suck any day.

Your pal randy


I have to apologies, because I didn’t mean to be such a wimp. And although, I am a sissy boy for using a card, you can bet that one of us threw down two bengy’s as you call them to have three, countem, three bitches give me a lap dance at once, this very week. There is no joke there.Also, you need to knock it off with that Rap music stuff because you are starting to sound like Fity Cent, who is an asshole. I agree, that it is cool to have hundreds of dollars on you, but I think if you are going to walk around with that kind of cash there is only two things that you should spend it on

Bitches and coke.

Not Coffee.

Thanks for the heads up, and I promise to not make you shake your head, if you spend some money on naked women and score some coke

Your pal Randy

Here’s the problem I have with your story: you got fucked by paying with a card. Don’t do that anymore. A real man doesn’t need a card. When I see a grown man buying a $1.25 candybar with a debit card, I shake my head in shame. That man is owned. Real men carry cash, and lots of it.

Thanks Chris

I have to apologies, because I didn’t mean to be such a wimp. And although, I am a sissy boy for using a card, you can bet that one of us threw down two bengy’s as you call them to have three, countem, three bitches give me a lap dance at once, this very week. There is no joke there.

Also, you need to knock it off with that Rap music stuff because you are starting to sound like Fity Cent, who is an asshole. I agree, that it is cool to have hundreds of dollars on you, but I think if you are going to walk around with that kind of cash there is only two things that you should spend it on

Bitches and coke.

Not Coffee.

Thanks for the heads up, and I promise to not make you shake your head, if you spend some money on naked women and score some coke

Your pal Randy