Archive for June 19th, 2006

step over here please

Monday, June 19th, 2006

It is illegal to impersonate a police officer. I think it should also be against the law to impersonate an asshole. Especially since there are way more assholes than cops. Of coarse, most cops are assholes, and that is something I still need to figure out. But being an asshole should be against the law.

On my way home from work on Friday, it seems that everyone on the road was an asshole. I thought that the Hollywood Bowl must have had an asshole convention and wouldn’t you know it, it got let out just as I was on my way home from work. I tried to tell everyone that I was tired, but since they were assholes they didn’t seem to care.

I also think that there should be a death penalty for people who are really good looking, but they are assholes. I think that is actually worse then global warming. Because wasting a beautiful body with an asshole personality is not acceptable. I mean a mass murderer who kills people and eats them is ok, but a fine looking woman who is a bitch, deserves to die. And, by my calculations, a lot of people here in Los Angeles, need to die.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just women. Guys are among the biggest assholes in my book, almost all of the men around the world need to die. not only because I want to fuck all of the women on the planet, but because they are really big assholes.

I think for starters, all guys with mustaches should be executed, unless of coarse they are gay, then that’s ok to have a mustache. But if you are straight and you have a mustache please step over here. Unfortunately, guys who have pony tails would need to go too. Ponytails don’t necessarily make you an asshole, but you should be killed because you don’t know how stupid you look. I guess that does make you an asshole.

Also, I think if you are really fashionable, like you are up to date on the trends, and you look great, you should have to have sex with anyone who asks you. Like if you are a dude, and you have a white hat and some shades and the pencil beard, and some bling, and a bunch of gay men want to fuck you in the bathroom, I think by law you should have to do it. Because why on earth would you walk around dressed like that if your not going to be somebody’s fuck doll?

Also, if you are a really hot teacher I think by law you shouldn’t be allowed to have sex with your students, but you should have to have sex with me.

I think with just a few new asshole rules we can turn the beat around and make this a really great place to live, especially for me. And I love that.

ps

Prostitutes are the best women on earth. Fact.

I love you people, and for some of you, not only do I love your minds, but I also love your bodies.

your pal Randy