Archive for July, 2006

Men and Women

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006

Also, lets cut the bullshit.

Men and women are not equal. I’ll prove it.

First off, women are as smart as men and as capable as men and can do everything a man can do

Except kill shit. In this category us men rule. Sure women can kill and sometimes they do, but we have them beat ten thousand to one. We will kill shit without even thinking about it and we do it with vigor, and showmanship. Did fucking women come up with the Iron maiden? hell no. How
about the guillotine? men.

Compared to men, women suck at killing. And that goes for that bitch Ann Coulter, sure she says some things that makes my man Soren mad, But my Homeboy Bush, he takes care of business. Ask those assholes in Iraq what they think of Ann Coulter and they wont even know who you are talking about

Ask them about Bush and they know him well. For killing the fuck out of their friends and families, just like my man Sadam did.

Men are as good and willing as women and as capable as any women in the world.

Except for getting laid. Compared to women, we fucking suck at it. Lets face it ninety percent of jerky couldn’t get laid tonight if we had a thousand dollars. Except for Lafferty, but I’m not talking about rock stars, I’m talking about men. Tonight , as we lie back and that little bit of semen is drying on the back of our hands there will be thousands and thousands of women who could have walked into any bar and shouted, “I feel like fucking tonight!” and there would be a line going out the door.

While us men try and figure out what volume to put the porn on, so our girlfriends don’t here.

And if you want to know the extent of it, I’ll give you something to think about.

All your guy friends would fuck your girlfriend right now, in front of you, if you let them, while you flip your little limp penis off to the side trying to get a hard on. And none of her girlfriends want anything to do with you.

except for Lafferty, but like I said he don’t count.

So please don’t talk about men and women being equal, it makes me sick.

Your pal Randy

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Nice one…

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006

I’ll tell you

And this is coming from someone who tries to get people angry. There is no difference between Ann Coulter and Howard Stern, except their audience.

Both people know that the more trouble they cause, the more famous they get. I tend to like Howard Stern, because I tend to like hookers and prostitutes.

But don’t think that little miss Ann or fox news don’t know for a second what they are doing, and that they don’t know that their true audience used to watch American Gladiator and Cops. So don’t get so upset.

Also, there is a bigger fact to deal with. Here is my personal problem. I want peace on Earth, and kindness towards all mankind, and at the same time I fucking hate people. On one hand I want these bombings to stop, and at the same time on my commute to work I imagine everyone running down the road with their skin falling off their bodies and their skulls exploding.

Because people fucking suck.

So who cares if they die? And who cares if our country is being run into the dirt by bum penis? Who cares if all of these stupid people pay five bucks at the pump to fill up their street yacht? Who cares how many soldiers die, and how many people they kill? Fuck them.

The republicans can have it. They can have the whole fucking mess. Great job, it’s all yours and every time some kid gets killed by a gun, I say, “well I guess that what you people want” so stop fucking complaining. It’s not what I would do, but fuck that little kid, because we like our guns
Hooray for America!

Enjoy your life and get a hooker

your pal Randy

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the difference between Macs and PCs

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006

One time on my system I was typing some Mac shit with some pc shit on top, and I felt like the product I was looking for more IBM see, then I looked at the motherboard and realized that it was all linix like. and that was uncool.

Here is the bottom line.

Computer talk makes women’s vagina’s get dry.

If you want to talk about scientific facts, talk about that. Because I don’t have a vagina, and mine is dry from just reading your emails. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong on this one. Because all across the nation there are thousands of dry vaginas just because of the kind of shit that you people are talking about.

Here is how you solve it. Tonight go to a strip club. If you still live in San Francisco I suggest “The Market Street Cinema” because those girls are really disgusting, I know, I’ve had sex with many of them.

So anyway, go there tonight, it will cost you about fifty bucks, I know that is hard since most men who work in visual effects are the cheapest basterds on the planet, but anyway, go in there, and sit with a stripper. She should be wearing a bikini, and she should also be ready to take you into the back room and do stuff to you that was in the movie that you watched last night.

Ask her about the difference between Apple and Mac or PC and what she thought about the movie Cat Woman.

Then watch her stare at you as her vagina gets dry.

But I love you, and all of your computer talk makes my penis wet

your pal Randy

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