A many of you people know, Thanksgiving is one of the holidays that I love best. My Family, on my moms side took part in the slaughter of all those poor injuns, back in the day, I think the motherfucker was Welsh, but needless to say, we have been celebrating ever since.
My grandmother Alma was the best at cooking the turkey. Lena, who was German couldn’t cook a turkey to save her life, and to tell you the truth, I don’t think that Germans have ever been good at anything other then being assholes, and blonde, I guess. But my dad’s side of the family is German, so
we love them anyway.
Well, one Thanksgiving, back when I was in junior high school, my whole family got together and we were going to have quite the celebration. This time instead of having a frozen turkey we went to one of those farms where you get to pick it out, and kill it yourself. Well Lena shouted something like. “Das Puken akt Mine Spietel!” and we all looked at her like she was mad, and it turned out that she wanted to be the one who took the turkey down. Knowing that Alma was going to get all of the praise over her delicious gravy.
We pointed out the bird we wanted, and my god was it a big one. It’s majestic plumage suggested quite a feast, and we handed Grandma Lena the twenty two, rifle, but before we could say anything, Lena had slipped over the fence with a butcher knife between her teeth.
“No!” my dad whispered, but it was too late, Lena had already begun the hunt. She crouched down, among the other birds and did her best to blend in. Every now and then you would see her head pop up with her huge glasses on, and she would “Gobble,gobble” then duck back down, and make her way to the large bird.
The gigantic Turkey having no idea what was about to descend upon it, pecked away at the ground without a care in the world, as Lena crawled closer. Lena popped her head up and said “Gobble.. and then we saw her head explode. A fountain of blood started spewing out of the hole in her head, and she said “Aktune Gobble mine shtappo” as she fell to the ground.
We turned around and saw that Alma was holding the rifle. Well, that was about enough of that. My dad, elbowed her in the neck, and me and my brothers started to punch the old bag in the face and groin Until she fell into a heap of old skid and urine.
That Thanksgiving Alma had to make the turkey herself and all of the fixing, for what she did to Lena. She had three broken ribs and she lost an eye and some fingers, but we didn’t care. The old bitch had to pay.
I love Thanksgiving and I miss my family.
Have a great one
your pal Randy
Bay bay Liberty
Thursday, November 16th, 2006It’s hard to be right on this topic.
here is another point of view. I would bet that almost everyone who has a opinion about smoking eats meat. Probably everyday of their lives, and on some days you might eat, chicken, Cow and pig, and what the fuck, throw a little fish in there too.
The fact is that it is disgusting. And to someone who doesn’t eat it, It is disgusting and gross, and packs a lot of cruelty and Murder with it. But, for now it is considered normal, much like smoking was considered normal fifty years ago.
We all know smoking is bad for you, and smells disgusting, unless you are addicted, then it taste fucking great.
What is so different then smelling smoke, or to watch a fat fuck squeeze a hamburger down their fat fuck throat? These people should maybe have a salad, or a fruit cup, but if you even suggest that they don’t eat pork, they will say something like. ” but I like the taste of bacon.”
Not only is bacon very bad for you, but comes at a very big cost. To everybody, not just the poor animal.
Most of us, don’t care to know about that cost, because we like the taste. We know that, horrible things are happening, behind close doors and we don’t want to even know about it, because we like it. Even though most of us could use a salad. I’ve been through the crew pictures, we aren’t the cast of Baywatch, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
I find it a little sad, that we as a group of people will consume at such a fevered pitch, and waste, and contribute money to such a horrible practice, and then have the nerve to complain about smelling smoke.
Let people smoke, if they want. None of us are going to live forever. relax, and look the other way, and be cool about it.
Or don’t eat that fucking hamburger around me, because, you and your greasy chin and fat gut are making me sick.
your pal Randy.
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