Archive for May, 2007

Fat fuck kid

Wednesday, May 30th, 2007

Fat hog like child kills majestic animal with a handgun.

I think this should be the title of the story, but it’s not. Now there is talk that the animal isn’t really that big, but I’ll tell you what the real tragedy is.

It’s that the fat little boy didn’t even get mauled by this amazing animal. Personally I wish the Gigantic Pig killed this little asshole in front of his parents before killing them, but I never get my way.

This story is proof of a couple of things. Number one. Any eleven year old can kill something if you have a gun. And number two people suck dick. First off, and lets be straight, I have said this before. I believe that anyone should be allowed to hunt anything they want. Even exotic animals like Tigers and Gorillas,

with a knife.

You want to hunt lions, go right ahead. I would love to have seen this picture if the kid had a knife. The little fat boy would look like red tissue paper.

Also, I think it should be a crime to be able to get fat eating meat.

Think about it for a second. That fat little kid, doesn’t he get enough to eat? It sure looks like it. I like to see that kid get fat on a fruit cup. It’s not possible. Now I’m not making fun of fat people. But getting fat on other animals misery is fucked up.

Why is it that we have no respect for anything? I bet you that fat little piece if shit believes in God. Can you imagine how stupid you would have to be to believe in God, and kill animals? Or have them killed for you?

Also, what is this desire we have to kill shit. I’ve never looked at an animal ever in my life and had the desire to kill it? When I was a kid I used to eat it, but that’s because I was stupid see, and then I grew up and actually thought about things, then I changed my ways.

simple.

The only desire I have is to fuck women, that’s it. That and have some ice cream. Sometimes both.

I really wish that people would start to see life for what it is. I wish that people could see what it is that they are doing, and eating, and knock it off.

I know bacon taste good, I don’t disagree. But put the fucking sandwich down you fat fuck and have a fruit cup.

Your Pal Randy

Spiderman 3

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

Spiderman 3 I hate my own animation is what it should be called.

ok here goes

For those of you who know me, you know that I don’t particularly like super heroes or their movies. batman sucked Superman sucked and the freaking Green lantern sucked.

and yes Spiderman sucks.

As an animator, there is nothing fun about animating a guy in tights. Because when it’s all said and done, it’s just a guy in tights. I don’t care if he is flipping through the air or swinging in some stupid spider rope.

The thing that I am the most angry about with this movie is that they stole my thunder when Peter turns into an asshole and starts pointing at all of those girls. That is my fucking shtick, and I’m pissed that that asshole Sam Rami put it in a movie where other people can steal my thunder.

the only reason I wasn’t bored watching this is because I was high. And I’m talking two joints.

Don’t get me wrong. This movie isn’t as shitty as the Matrix, when all those assholes in robes have a dance party. And I liked the sandman. He was a good Character even though he wore a stupid striped shirt like Ernie or Bert.

by the way, i did the shot where the giant Sandman gets hit by rockets and swaggers around like a stupid asshole and then falls to dirt,

I know, i know, fucking great animation. Thanks.

All and all I thinks it’s a good “once over” film if you are stoned on grass and you like to watch guys in tights fight on a skateboard.

Me, Id rather watch porn.

I love you people

Your pal randy

Time machine

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

If I could do anything for mankind. If I could use anything to help out people on this planet, I would invent a time machine. Then I would travel back in time and fucking kill Alexander Graham Bell.

That dushebag has no idea the trouble he started.

When I was a kid, it was a time called Nineteen Seventy. And for the most part it was awesome.

My Mom had a coup[le of friends that were real assholes on the phone. They would call her up and fucking gab like there was no tomorrow. One woman was named Betsy, and the other was named Francine or however the fuck you spell it.

Anyway those two assholes were always on the horn, and to make matters worse they were on the horn fucking everything up. Especially my day. they would call up my mom and Nark on me, that they saw me and I wasn’t at school, all sorts of shit.

But the one thing that was different was

they were attached to the fucking wall.

Now every asshole from here to New Jersey is on the fucking phone everywhere you go. It’s the the whole world turned into a BetsyFrancine monster and they are making calls. Who needs to drive when you can talk on the phone and coast between lanes?

Hot chicks walking down the street used to have to deal with getting hit on. Now they have a phone attached to their ear cock blocking everyone.

I still hit on them, There is nothing better then bothering a woman until she puts the phone down and then asking her for her number. The face they make is awesome.

Well, that’s it. I am reaching out to you people to stop the madness and hang up the phone. It sucks, and people who are on the phone suck. think about it

your pal Randy

Who wants to animate a car?

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

I got a call from these assholes that made the Matrix are in need of another previs person to go to Berlin and help out on Speed Racer. Any animators who are interested write me bitches!

I’m not on this project, I’m just trying to hook up a friend.

Your pal Randy

Road Rage

Thursday, May 10th, 2007

I was in a bit of road rage this morning. It was me and this dude in a van. I wasn’t so angry but the guy in the van was pissed off! Holy shit. And the truth is, that it was awesome.

I love the meltdown of it all. I love the fact that as people we’ve become totally detached from each other and the world is getting even crazier and more violent by the day. I mean compared to Sparta, we are fucking cowards, but we’re getting there.

We base our religions and our governments all on the idea of helping people, but the truth is, that nobody really gives a shit. And the few who do care, well, they are a bit outnumbered.

Men have a real problem. We have this blue vein dick thing, that really causes some trouble out there. We feel the need to drive big trucks and convince everyone that we are tuff. What’s the difference between Gansta rap and Red Necks?

Nothing. They both suck. And when I say suck, I mean it. Everywhere I go, there is some asshole, who is acting tuff. White, Hispanic and Asian men acting Gansta.

I say acting, because they are acting. Sometime at puberty they were dumb enough to think that kind of thing would get them laid, so they started acting like what they see…other assholes. And unfortunately, there are a lot of women dumb enough to fuck these guys, reaffirming their very, very stupid lives.

People always say, Why do you blame women so much? It’s always about sex?

I do, and it is.

I blame women, because they have made it very difficult to score with, unless you are famous or tall. The rest of us, we are shit out of luck. Think about it. We have a society with lots of men who can’t get laid, and allowed to carry guns.

Sounds dangerous to me.

If I was in charge of things I would take all of the women who would want to make money off of their bodies and have a training camp. A training camp of hot bitches. These women would get paid millions. Everything they could want they could have. But, their job is to walk the streets, and fuck guys who need it, on the spot.

Two guys are angry in their commute, two hot bitches run in and give them a back seat party. End of conflict.

Now Im not saying that all women should have to do this. Just the hot ones. The ugly ones can work and suck an egg like the rest of us. And I know that there are a lot of old white men making the rules, and they are afraid of their penises and women so they condemn it. but these guys need to get laid. Lets face it.

Also, to be clear. I really don’t think that all of our troubles are women’s fault, I know that men suck. But I also know that men only want one thing.

And it rhymes with Orgasm.

I was smart enough a long time a go to just pay for it. All of that bullshit that is causing guys to walk into schools and start shooting, comes from getting turned down all the time and standing in front of a mirror with your penis in your hands. Fuck that.

Prostitutes never turn you down, and they will even act like they like it. Why even talk to a girl in a bar when there are prostitutes? can someone even explain it to me? and please don’t say anything about hearing what they have to say. I’ve talked to women in bars. It’s fucking dreadful. It’s like having a duh party.

More sex, less violence is all I’m saying. And support your local prostitute for christ sake.

Your pal Randy