Archive for January 10th, 2008

Re: What are you doing here?

Thursday, January 10th, 2008

I know, I love it. I love the fantasy world we live. On both sides of that coin. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and this chick is gorgeous. really, a knockout. She started dating, this dude who seems really cool, I’m happy for her. We of coarse got on the subject of sex, and in that conversation, I found out that she didn’t like porn, as a matter of fact, thought it was a little gross. “The first thought that came to my mind was. “That poor basterd.”

I mean she’s hot, so good for him, I’m sure that he is high fiving the fucking mirror, when she gets down to her underwear, I’m sure of it.

But a brother needs some porn. And he can’t share that with her. And that fucking sucks for him.

Women that I talk to about this, always shrug it off, and say that men are gross, and that their dude isn’t like that. But That’s a lie, and they know it. For one reason, How did they get that guy into a relationship?

If you don’t work in the FX industry and Darth Vader hasn’t been number one in your life from the age of twelve, If you’re an average guy, who can talk to people, you get into a relationship because the women you are with, outfucked the rest of them. I know, a little scary, but true. She may be great, she may be smart, she may like the same movies you do, but she caught you with her sex net. And what a great net that is.

Women, who act like they don’t know this, aren’t dumb, they are lying, because if you broke up with them, they would maybe take some time to get over you, and then they would bring that sex net back out in public.( These are the women that I like the most, by the way.)

Anyway, back to porn, what we men have lost, in the last fifty years is the right to be men. Men like porn, because back when we had even more hair, we were fucking everything we could. And that shit wasn’t immoral, or illegal. If you don’t believe me, go to a zoo and look at a gorilla, who has up to seven women at a time, he will look at you, and his eyes will say, “That’s right bitch!”. If you watch the news, it’s obvious that the monkeyman hasn’t dropped the rest of our “link” to the wild kingdom, so why would we have dropped that one.

So respectful, or lonely guys, do the next best thing . We look at images of women and pretend they want to blow us. It’s a fucking lie, but it works.

I mean even those uptight conservative guys are getting caught in public bathrooms for christ sake, I mean EVERYONE is lying about it.

I’ve said this before, and really, I hope this helps. If you are in a relationship, and you love her. The next time she is too tired for some action. Don’t go downstairs to the Batman console. Just start getting yourself off, right next to her, Maybe even ask if you can grab a tittie when you are ready to pop.

Ten buck says she wakes up, and you get your action, but even if she doesn’t, starting the next morning, it’s a whole new game.

What I think most women are a little cruel about, is the fact that they can go out every night ( If they wanted to) and bring home two, maybe three people. I know that they Don’t want to, but they can. We want to, and we can’t. To rub that shit in a mans face, I think is a little cruel, and what’s more, to say something like, “I don’t even want you to look at pictures of people who you aren’t fucking”, is like eating a steak in front of starving kids, you can do it, but it’s not cool.

Ugly woman are different. I just wish they weren’t ugly.

I love you people

Your pal Randy