Archive for June, 2009

David Carradine

Friday, June 5th, 2009

When I heard about his death I have to admit I was a little bit sad. Although I was never a real big fan of the kung fu show. I loved him in Kill Bill and a shitty horror film called Q. But then this morning I heard that he didn’t commit suicide, but rather died masturbating. And for this I love him. Now, lets be clear, nobody knows if in fact he was masturbating or had some Thai prostitute tie him up and work is elderly sack, but I don’t think that matters.

Here is what is really important. At seventy two years old you can still play “slap the helmet off the pink retard.”

I would rather be know for eternity as a guy who died jerking off over a guy who committed suicide. And that’s a fucking fact.

I also want to take a minute out and praise men for our sexual longevity. I’ve always been a little upset that women who have the ability to fuck multiple people every night of their lives, don’t really want to. And as a guy with a healthy sexual appetite I’ve spent years fucking logs and stuffed animals and anything that would let me. I always felt like it was unfair.
Until I realized that although women have all of the options in the world, those options dry up quite quickly at thirty five, then your just a talking ape at that point. with a whole bunch of “Blah blah blah” and “you know what I think?? and a whole lot of who the fuck cares, because you look like yoda now.

we get to fuck twenty year olds until we’re eighty( even if we have to pay for it) and maybe even die cuming on somebody tits.

It is in fact a beautiful world

Your pal Randy