Archive for November 22nd, 2013

Re: [LBJ] Flying Burrito Brothers rant

Friday, November 22nd, 2013

This is sort of an embarrassing story but my first girlfriend was a
burrito.

Actually she wasn’t a girl, she was a burrito, but I loved her at least twice before I ate her. All of the girls in my high school were into the jocks with their stupid isod shirts and pastel shorts, and I was getting quite lonely. I wrote a poem about the darkness in my heart but nobody cared. One night I went for a walk and passed a Mexican taco stand, and there for three dollars was a burrito, it was huge….she..was huge

I bought it and on my way home she looked so beautiful in the moonlight that I started to get feelings. I hid her under my bed for a week slowly pulling the plate out at night while my family slept, kissing her hot sauce very gently.

One night I got a little high on weed and we made out for hours to my horror the next morning she was gone. I thought she left me, until my stomach started to hurt then I realised my crime.

I was devastated for months until I met my second girlfriend…..a stack of chocolate chip cookies.

your pal Randy